dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
