Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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