I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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