Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
