My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
