well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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