Banned from zoo.
Again?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
