I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a fireplace last night.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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