my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
