Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
