Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
