everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
