brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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