this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
