Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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