Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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