Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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