it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
