Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
