I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
