When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
