I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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