i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I love you.
Bad choice
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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