yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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