we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
