is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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