People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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