I could make wine with my vomit
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize