I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
