im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
