is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
did i walk over a car last night?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
