My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
