I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
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