You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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