do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
