Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize