sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
