I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
be right there i have to get my cape
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
