I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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