So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize