Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
