Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
