"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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