your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
