fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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