We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
She is in my trunk
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
