college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize