I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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