My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
