Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
