every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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