Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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