you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
