just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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