I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
