Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
